Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize