So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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