And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
