I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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