new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
