Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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