My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
