You work out of a Hotel?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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