Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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