I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
