This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
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