i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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