It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
