I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
