if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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