I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
you never un-have a 4some
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
