she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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