He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
