Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
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I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
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I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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