make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I have already put on my inside pants.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
