You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
