Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
They have beer where we have blood.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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