i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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