I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
