My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
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I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
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Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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