Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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