i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
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