it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
