You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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