what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
