she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
