rhymes with "ouble enetration"
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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