Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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