my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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