Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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