He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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