i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
