arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize