I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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