Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize