Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
