I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
