i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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