my mouth tastes like poor choices
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
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College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
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never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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