the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
oh god the rape fog is back!
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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