I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
