very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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