Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
