Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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