didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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