SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
