Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
