I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
