I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
