There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.