Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.

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(206): View more from Washington

We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.

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(949): View more from California

Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami

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(515): View more from Iowa

I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.

(407): View more from Florida

Its part of my fall instant classic line.

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21 Sketchy Drug Deals That Are Scary AF
Read it at the TFLN blog
(401): View more from Rhode Island

So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session

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(806): View more from Texas

I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.

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(708): View more from Illinois

The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.

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