I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Randomize
