shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Hippo gnu deer
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
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