plz talk dirty to me
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.