He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
