who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i think i have herpe
just one?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
