i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
farters have to be the big spoon...
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semen is not good for contacts.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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