I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
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On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
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I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
The ass gains better be worth it
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