There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
