this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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