you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Randomize
