He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize