you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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