I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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