we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
